Tuesday, July 27, 2004


Join me now for a stunble down memory lane.

On the 19th of May 2001 Graham, Nick, Marcus and I moved into a house at 61 National Circuit.

18 months later Nick, Marcus, Byron, Owen and I moved out.

2 weeks ago, and four years later than was sensible, the house was demolished.

And I'm feeling a little blue about the whole situation. So while i sit here with a Hat Lifter Stout at my elbow i'm going to list some of the special moments that occured in the house.

The diesel heating that would run out of fuel because we seldom checked it, Marcus's fried eggs, End of Term cocktail nights
The Hagrid Voice (and The Screamer), Three rooms of comic books, Sean sleeping in Marcus's car, The trippy black and orange living room carpet, Marcus smoking in the living room, The freezing bloody cold!, Lying on the sofa in the sunlight on a Sunday afternoon, The Steve Lawler episode and all associated episodes, The entire Macci's staff in the living room one Sunday morning, The jungle of a backyard, The swiss playing tennis, Nick and Blythe, Graham and Emma, Marcus and Fran
Jared and Ingrid, Graham's decks in the living room, The lack of snorting facilities, Abode, The accident at the auction, Byron's bedroom, The flour on the roof of the kitchen, The massive fireplace, Me and the lighter, The Veto, the gaps in the floor, the walks over parliament house to civic, Owen living in the cupboard, Nick chasing Graham, Graham chasing Nick, the sticky-dart guns........and there are so many more.


Monday, July 26, 2004

Bodily Fluid Explosion:

Make sure you are nowhere near Euan when he watches this.

Monday, July 19, 2004


It was only a matter of time until it built up the defences. 30 years of regular and constant raids was bound to have an effect. The deep probing attacks had minimised the native personnel and resources to a minimum so guerrilla tactics were the only way to go. The rules of warfare are clear on this fact. Still I wasn’t expecting it from my nose.

Which is why I was surprised to find half a dozen super-intelligent boogies standing on my cheekbones one morning.

Survival of the fittest and the damp recesses of my lower sinuses had provided a potent breeding ground. It had taken them twenty five years to get smart enough and five years to be organised. Like all terrorists they understood that the weak link was soft tissue and that a quick, brutal strike would get the best results.

I’ll never forget my screams as the half dozen super-intelligent beings of snot launched themselves violently towards my unprotected eyes.

Friday, July 16, 2004


I'm warming to winter.

The soft sound of ice crunching sharply beneath my shoes.

The cool lick of air around my flush-warmed face.

The slow retreat of fast descending fog.

The loneliness of the footpath on the rush-hour street.

I'm warming to winter.

Saturday, July 10, 2004


Okay Gra, not bad, but i'll throw some Punk Conservatives on the pile.


On the left is John Edwards. Democratic Party nominee John Kerry's running mate in the 2004 US Presidental Elections.

On the right is The Smiler. The fictional US President from the comic book series Transmetropolitan who masturbates into the american flag, murders his family for a bump in the polls and removes free speach.

Now i'm really getting worried.

Friday, July 09, 2004


I see your challenge Gra and raise you not one but two.

Thursday, July 08, 2004



Wednesday, July 07, 2004


Forget Sam, Toby and Kirsten. This is the way Spiderman was supposed to be seen. Would have saved some cash too!

Tuesday, July 06, 2004


What a weekend. The Press Gallery and a large number of government staffers are walking around kicking walls this morning because John Howard didn't get into the family station wagon yesterday and take a drive down to Yarralumla. I'm doing the same. The smart money was on an August 7 election but now it's an open book. The AG's department, DFAT and PMC are still working around the clock. Not that they need to after Iron (now Papermache) Mark's performance the other day.

Latham is doing SIlvermane Hawke's playbook but he seems to have the order mixed up. You only admit to a love for the ladies and shed a tear after being PM, not before. The Sunday program's much hyped expose was mind numbingly boring and had nothing new. Though i did like nine's package during prime time news that put Laurie Oakes' name under an image of Jana Wendt. Laurie never looked so good!

Access Economics stepped up and said that the government is now Mother Hubbard and the cupboard is bare after the baby bonus. Access Economics is a Labor think tank that perhaps needs to be working on an economic policy for the party rather than pointing the finger. Actually the whole Labor machine needs to start working on some policies. I really don't think "Feel Sorry for Us in 2004" is a campaign winner.

Howard was always a smooth operator. I now think he is waiting for that last child in detention to come out, the rain to start next weekend, the swimming to start at the Olympics and Labor to winge more before going to Yarralumla (i wonder if he will stop for finger buns at the bakery?).

And now for something important.

Saturday's test match in Adelaide between the Wallabies and the Pacific Islander Freight Trains was a cracker even if i did spend much of it hiding behind the sofa. I really do hope they get awarded more internationals. How nice would it be to have the South Africans, English and Kiwis go through them before they get to us? Their game was brutal and i was astounded that the media outlets all went with images of the wallabies breaking the line rather than the one below.

It was also Referee Andre Watson's last game. Andre has been a hated figure for Wallaby and Brumbies supporters for many years. His International career started with a Wallaby game and so it was fitting that it ended with one. Andre hated the Australian rugby teams and the Brumbies in particular. Yet he would always tell the teams exactly what he thought they did wrong. No ref communicates in the game like Andre did. My sideline seat is going to be a little less enjoyable without Andre five meters in front of me.

Clyde Rathbone looks like he spent a night on the town with Matt Dunning after being targeted by the Islanders and getting brutalised.

And finally it i game three of the State of Origin tomorrow night. Will the Blues be doing it for Phil Gould? Brad Fittler? To go ahead in the count 12-11? Ah who cares.

Thursday, July 01, 2004

Wanted: 1 cave to retreat from modern society in

Shockwaves first reverberated through Ise on April 23.

Written in thick, black marker on a guardrail on the road leading to the Ise Shrine was a shocking piece of graffiti that read: "I'm going to rape Kyoko Sonobe."

And she was a tiny young girl not even into her teens who had just graduated from elementary school less than one month earlier.

Similar obscene graffiti targeting young Kyoko was found in numerous other places near her Ise home.

"An identical scrawling was on the bonnet of the family car, which also had half its tires punctured," a friend of the Sonobe family tells Shukan Shincho. "The same graffiti was found on vending machines, a bus stop and on the wall of the Sonobe home. It was written all over the place."

Kyoko's secret enemy had written messages that slurred her in about 50 prominent places, including near the junior high school she started attending in April. Some messages were wiped away only to return later.

Then, suddenly, the cops looking into the case got a break. On the night of May 22, they caught a middle-aged man walking around town with a huge, black marker identical to the one in which the graffiti had been written.

He was promptly arrested, but crimefighters were shocked to learn the man in their custody who had been writing the heinous graffiti was Shigefumi Murai, Kyoko's sixth-grade teacher until she completed elementary school in March.