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It was only a matter of time until it built up the defences. 30 years of regular and constant raids was bound to have an effect. The deep probing attacks had minimised the native personnel and resources to a minimum so guerrilla tactics were the only way to go. The rules of warfare are clear on this fact. Still I wasn’t expecting it from my nose.

Which is why I was surprised to find half a dozen super-intelligent boogies standing on my cheekbones one morning.

Survival of the fittest and the damp recesses of my lower sinuses had provided a potent breeding ground. It had taken them twenty five years to get smart enough and five years to be organised. Like all terrorists they understood that the weak link was soft tissue and that a quick, brutal strike would get the best results.

I’ll never forget my screams as the half dozen super-intelligent beings of snot launched themselves violently towards my unprotected eyes.