Read:

I don't want to get married. I don't want to have children.

I've been saying that for a long time.

And now i think that i was wrong.

The other day i was pondering how, in the last six weeks, my life has taken a fairly significant turn. So i started to look at how it may have turned out had those changes not appeared. And i realised that within two years i could, quite possibly, have had both of those things that i had spent many years saying that i didn't want. And the strength and type of emotion that followed took me by surprise.

I felt loss.

And now, three days later, that sense of loss is still within me.

I think i grew a little the other day. I wonder what will happen now.